Friday, May 30, 2014

Days 17-19 (Today)

Friday comes again. This is special for many people because it means family time on the weekends, not going to work, church..whatever.

Fridays are awesome for me because it's leg day. Leg day is my favorite. Not to brag, but my legs are...big. They're strong too...kind of like a horse. Or a really big dog. Or a Wolff, I guess. That was a really bad one.

Anyways, I get to do legs twice today. There is no bad mood to be had here.

I have finally finished all of my beef heart. Maybe if cows could be smaller animals, I wouldn't have to eat it every day for a week. Three pounds of heart is a whole lotta meals. Delicious, but a whole lotta meals. It was fun to tell people that I was having steak. Little do they know...

Something really cool happened! I post all of my food to Instagram, and I also put Frank's Red Hot Sauce on everything, because it's delicious. Anyway, they messaged me the other day and asked if they could put one of my pictures on their page. Naturally I said yes because...duh.

Photo: How cool!!

I plan to go to the farmer's market this weekend. Last weekend I bought wayyyyy too many greens. I need to eat them like a madwomen I don't waste food. It's not in my code. I have two bunches of bok choy, spinach, and like...45 green onions left. I'm about to make the nastiest tasting smoothie ever just to get rid of it all.

Here's a few things I've put into my mouth:

Photo: #whole30 #day18 #lunch #ssdd #samesaladdifferentday #chicken #avocadoPhoto: #day18 #breakfast #eggs #avocado #franksredhot #sweetpotatoes #postworkout #bicepday #iifymPhoto: Bulletproof coffee.Photo: #day17 #dinner #whole30 #homemadebbq #beefheart #veggies #sweetpotatoesPhoto: #whole30 #day17 #preworkout #workout2 #chicken #spinach #franksredhot #blueberriesPhoto: #whole30 #day18 #dinner #beefheart #avocado

Sometimes I eat out of Tupperware. Nothing screams "badass" like eating beef heart and carrots out of Tupperware. I was disc golfing at the time, and since I don't eat your typical "picnic" food...this is what I got. Judge me.

This weekend I'm driving back to Iowa to go to a wedding. I don't know who's getting married, only that my boyfriend is the best man. Not sure if I should get them a gift. I think I won't, not only because I'm cheap, but because I don't even know the person's name to write a card to or anything. My presence is more than enough.

I'm not worried about wanting cake, or cookies, or whatever gluten/sugar/refined goods are presented, because I stopped having cravings a few days ago. I've been craving fat..literally. My boyfriend cut the chunks of fat off of his grass fed steak and I ate them. I regret nothing.

Sunday, I may be venturing to Kansas City...(sooo much driving!) because Liz Wolfe is signing copies of Eat the Yolks. I will drive five hours for a signature from that lady. 

I take back what I said about not having cravings earlier. I really want some blueberries. And a kabocha squash. Maybe I'll mash the two together and see what happens. It'll probably fit right in with my spinach/onion/bok choy smoothie...lord.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Days 15-16

I maaaaaaaaaade it. Halfway done. *Does a little dance*

The sad thing is, it's not that hard, except for the fact that I want a Quest bar.

Almond butter....

A cupcake.....

No really, it's not that hard.

Photo: #lunch #day16 #salad #chicken #avocadoPhoto: #whole30 #day17 #tallow #eggsandspinach #avocado #lowcarb #highfatPhoto: #whole30 #breakfast #eggs #kale #avocado #franksredhot #day16
Photo: #postworkout #whole30 #kabochasquah #beefheartPhoto: #day15 #dinner #whole30 #grill #beefheart #sweetpotatoes #preworkoutPhoto: #whole30 #dinner #musclemeat #carnivore #day15

That's my food. Yes, it's a beef heart. The purest muscle meat around. So low calorie (as far as red meat goes) low in fat, and high protein. Cook that ish in some tallow and you have yourself the best tasting meal ever. Got a 2.5 lb heart for about 6$. Talk about cheap. I think it's so cheap because people feel weird eating one. I have this thing where I say something like "I'm about to eat your soul" every time I take a bite. I should probably quit that.

My workouts have been awesome and intense. I keep track of how much I'm lifting and have seen definite increases. I used a tape measure to gauge my fat loss. Turns out, I'm sitting the exact same. I feel better though, and isn't that what this is about? I started off pretty lean and thin anyway, so I didn't have too much to lose.

Being halfway through, I can safely say I'm glad I chose to do this again. It has helped reopen my eyes to real food, to enjoy the taste, and savor the flavor. God, that sounded corny.

I'm ready to take on the ending half.

Then I'm having a Quest bar.

Monday, May 26, 2014

Days 10-14

I am reallllllly starting to suck at this. I feel awful that I haven't posted. It's not that I'm too busy to, because let's get real, all I do is work out and eat. I'm the laziest active person I know. I'll say it once, and I'll say it again.

I haven't weighed myself yet, for that I am proud. I know I had a couple of days where I went over my "macros" and calories, but through the week there were days where I didn't meet them, so it all evens out.

Here are a few pictures of things I put in my mouth over the past days.

Photo: #dinner #day13 #salad #appetizer#whole30
Photo: #day12 #dinner #whole30 #fancy #franksredhot #chickenPhoto: #whole30 #day13 #dinner #chicken #roasted #kabochasquah #franksredhot

Chicken and kabocha squash. If you don't know what a kabocha squash is, do a quick Google search, buy one, and eat it.
Photo: #whole30 #day13 #lowcarb #highfat #franksredhot #chicken #spinach #breakfast
Photo: #whole30 #postworkout #berries #coconut #coconutmilk #bananaPhoto: #whole30 #lunch #late #grassfedlamb #curry #veggies #franksredhot

Big ass lamb steak, because red meat is awesome, salads, some berries and coconut milk/flakes...a lot of avocados, and much too much chicken

I went to a paleo cooking class yesterday and the presenter made recipes from Balanced Bites, PaleOMG, and Civilized Caveman. It was great, except that for this Whole 30, I had sworn off nuts. She made chicken tenders with coconut and cashew crust. I had a piece, and I regret it. It tasted fabulous, but now I know for sure that nuts and I do not get along. It makes me sad.

My energy levels are up, I'm halfway through, and I've found that adding carbs doesn't bloat me or make me feel bad. In fact, my workouts are far more productive

Speaking of workouts...

Yesterday I did the Murph WOD. It's what I and many other people do for Memorial Day in remembrance of the fallen. This is the third year that I've done it, and I beat my time last year by 25 minutes. I kid you not, I thought my timer had broken.

The workout is:
Run 1 mile
100 pullups
200 pushups
300 squats
Run 1 mile
To do the workout as written, it needs to be done wearing a 20 lb weighted vest, which I did. I didn't wear it for the run, and I split it into 10 rounds of 10 pullups, 20 pushups, 30 squats

I was a sweaty wreck, but it was amazing.

Peace, love, and food. <3 Stay strong fellow Whole 30ers

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Days 7, 8, and 9

I haven't written the past couple days. Maybe it's because I suck at keeping these things up to date, or maybe it's because there is nothing to report.

I started a new workout program on Monday and it is fabulous. It requires that I do two workouts per day, on the same body part. I didn't know that this sort of sore existed. Last week, I did my own thing in the gym to get myself back in positive attitude about lifting. I'd been on my last program for 3 months and I was a tad burnt out, ya know? One can only do so many box jumps before wanting to hang themselves.

I made this slow cooker butternut squash chicken thing over the weekend, and that's what I've been having for dinner every day, which is why the pictures are non-existent. Honestly, I won't make it again. I thought I was being creative. Stuff tastes like ass.

Lunch has been salads with chicken, which I've been adding bits of fruit into. I'm trying to introduce more carbs. Truth is, I work out...a lot. I know people say you don't need carbs to function, but since I've been adding them, I function a hell of a lot better.

I even had three sweet potatoes so far this week. Boom, bia.

My mood is awesome, minus the anger that came with getting two tickets from the world's meanest officer the other day. Does it look like I have the money to be paleo and pay the state ridiculous sums of money? No. No I do not.

Get ready for the TMI. Maybe before the W30 I had adrenal fatigue or something, or maybe I was inadequately nourished (I was) but two major things I've noticed over the past 10 days.

I can poop again.
I want to have sex.

These are new things for me. I don't care how these things happened, but they did, and that's awesome. I'm eating enough through the day that I don't find myself craving food at night, and I sleep like a rock.

I think this is what they call winning.

Here, have some food porn.

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Whole 30, Day 6

My first Saturday of the Whole 30. No headaches, no insufferable cravings, and I have been sleeping awesomely. I haven't weighed myself, but I feel great. I think it's from allowing the added carbs from berries, banana, and extra veggies. Whatever it is, I likey.

Breakfast this morning involved some carbs, since I had to work for a few hours and knew I would be doing a lot of walking around.

I used up the last of my two eggs, which I'll have to replace because I love eggs, some avocado, spinach, and hot sauce of course. I sliced up half of a banana and sprinkled some coconut shreds on top. Nom nom. I then hit the gym for a circuit workout and some back training.

Then it was off to work, where I went downtown Omaha to the farmer's market. I got three bunches of spinach for $1 each!! That's exciting for me, by the way. I also picked up some green onions to grill, some chard, asparagus, and salad greens. Not a bad haul for under $20.

 I was supposed to meet with a friend after work for a second workout, but it was 3pm and I hadn't had lunch. I decided to use my farmer's market winnings and have a small salad before my workout. Chicken with coconut shreds, salad greens, and spinach. There are also some blueberries and raspberries in there somewhere.

After two long workouts, I decided to go on a run at the lake. I told myself I was only going to run 3 miles, but three miles came and went. I ended up running five miles, and it was wonderful. The weather was perfect to be outside. I was sweaty and stinky, and that's just how I like it. Dinner time didn't come until around 9 pm, which is extremely late for me, but running takes away my hunger and I had to cook all of this deliciousness. I may be doing a Whole 30, but this girl knows how to eat. I picked up 4oz of grass fed beef, wild caught shrimp, and prosciutto. Grated some Japanese sweet potato, (which is like an orange sweet potato without the sugar), and wilted spinach. Holy god, I felt like a queen. 

 I then realized I was still hungry, so I did the unthinkable and ate some more. 1/4 avocado, 1/2 banana, and some coconut shreds. Topped with balsamic vinegar. Then I was done. I watched a few episodes of the show Medium, and headed promptly to bed. It was a good day. Rest day from the gym is tomorrow, and I think I'll be active by going on a bike ride.

Friday, May 16, 2014

Whole 30, Day 5

A whole work week while on the Whole 30. At times, I felt that I would break down and go raid the pantry, sit in the office and cry, and yesterday I was about to set up the computer in the bathroom. What a rollercoaster ride. And it's only day five. At least I know it's working.

Today was my favorite day at the gym, leg day! Well, shoulders too, but legs are what's important here. Squats on squats, deadlifts, more squats, some extensions, and hopping around. Sore sore sore, and I love it.

Before all of this, I had breakfast. It was delicious.
I let myself have some berries at breakfast because legs takes a lot of work. I don't lift those fake 20 pound weights, either. Two eggs, some spinach, and coconut oil later, and I got it done. I find that since starting the Whole 30 and allowing some fruit (I used to not eat fruit), I feel much better, more awake, less sore. Maybe it's in my head, maybe not. It could also be from the nuts I'm not consuming. I haven't been bloated or lethargic like I am when I eat nuts. They may be delicious, but my body says no.

 Lunch was super simple. I had the scraps of this weeks veggies left, so I steamed them all, threw in some chicken and called it a salad. There's some olive oil as the fat. Also, this would be a good time to admit that I am now addicted to eating olives. I had some last week at a party, and good lord. I don't remember them being so delicious. I have purchased my own now, and refuse to share.

 Snack time was around 3pm. I had a half serving of berries with a TBSP of coconut butter. My trick is to heat up the coconut butter, then put in frozen berries. The coconut butter hardens on contact. It's ah-ma-zing.

I ended up getting off of work early, and my dear friend invited me to his gym. I'm not one to turn down an adventure at a gym, so I said yes. He had really attractive friends, so naturally I pushed myself through ANOTHER shoulder workout. Then I did a HIIT workout for 4 and some miles. I was a sweaty mess. Then I was  hungry.

 At the store the other day, I bought a butternut squash and a whole mess of chicken. I then got tomato paste, chicken stock, and some seasonings, and threw it in a crockpot. This is not a recipe I've ever heard of, but it smells awesome. I think I'll call it...butternut cocoa chicken....soup?
Sometimes I'm like a five year old. I made myself chicken nuggets. I cut some chicken breast into strips and rolled it into shredded coconut, paprika, and garlic powder. Baked for 20 minutes, and boom. Nuggets. I typically use almond flour, but no nuts for me. Are olives a nut? I'm not sure. They're the size of a nut. I also made a salad. Spinach, kale, broccoli, and avocado with a drizzle of balsamic vinegar. Are avocados a nut? No....fruit. I don't know anymore.

I'm going to go eat a few more olives and think about it. Then have some tea. 

Whole 30, Day Four

I think the saddest thing about living alone is that when I make one large entree in a crockpot or something, I can eat it for a week. I don't get to make awe-inspiring meals every night because I don't even have a cat to enjoy it with me. That, and I work from 11-9 every day so I don't get to sit at my table anyway. My kitchen table houses about 20 empty coffee mugs and a notebook. That's what it's good for.

Day four I woke up and had the best morning pee of my life. I'm focusing on staying hydrated, and I think I'm doing it right. Lord.

Had my breakfast, since I'm trying really hard to eat before the gym, which is new and weird for me.

I don't make fancy things. I combine foods that my palate likes, and moosh them all together and call it a meal. Broccoli, kale, eggs, coconut oil...all good things. All good things when you put them together. Even better with hot sauce on top. 

Worked my ass off at the gym doing a chest and tricep circuit, then I felt like going to the grocery store to stock up on more veggies. My favorite store is called Natural Grocers. It's like Whole Foods, only with more reasonable prices and nicer people. I love them. They recently got these goodies. During this Whole 30, I am nut free, so I can't have one, but after the 30 days, you bet your ass I'm going in face first. They're W30 compliant, except for the coffee flavor. I wish I wasn't obsessed with nuts. First world problems.

 After getting to work, it was lunch time. I go through spurts of obsession with certain foods. This week's love interest is Nori (seaweed). It doesn't wrap for shit because it's so flimsy and has holes in it, but it tastes fabulous and I'm a messy person anyway. I put a can of tuna, some red bell peppers, and some avocado on the seaweed, rolled it up, and then ate it with a fork, my hands, and a straw. Also, I really don't like the taste of water, but when you add CO2 to it, and get bubbly water, that's where it's at.

For a snack I had....wait...I don't think I had a snack. That's okay, dinner was the shit anyways. On Monday I had cooked up a spaghetti squash and hadn't yet eaten it. Soooo, naturally I used it as my base, topped with some chicken, cauliflower, zuchinni, and hot sauce. I love hot sauce, back off. The veggies were cooked in tallow for a fat source, and I could have swum in the delciousness. I was hungry though, so I ate it instead.

After getting home I realized I was about 400 calories under my goal and a little hungry. I hadn't had fruit today, so I decided to make a bowl of moosh, which is what I call everything without a name. I had 2 oz of chicken to start, because protein is important, then I made a berry/coconut milk/coconut flake bowl of awesome.

My nails are gross, I know. I'd paint them, but my habit of lifting heavy things scrapes it off and it's a waste of time. As far as energy goes, I'm up up up. I sleep better, deeper, and wake up more refreshed. My digestive system is...moving along, if you get my drift, and my mood is elevated. I haven't weighed myself, and I'm starting to actually believe that the number isn't important. If I end up gaining weight, who cares? I'm healthier and I feel better. After all, isn't that what life is about?

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Whole 30, Day 3

I know I'm on day four now, but yesterday I got busy. I am a case manager and who knows when I have free time to update my blog?! My schedule may be inconvenient, but let me tell you, I've learned how to pack a lunch and dinner. Whoever complains how hard it is to eat at work can hush. It's not that bad.

Yesterday I didn't eat anything spectacular. I've been craving almond butter but am making this Whole 30 nut free because I have one spoonful then I have 12. It's a serious problem.

I noticed that upon waking, I was energized. I didn't feel that I needed my morning coffee, and I was ready and raring to head to the gym. My bloat from the weekend of graduation party was already gone, and it usually takes a couple more days.

My scale called for me to weigh myself, but I restrained.

Breakfast was the same ol' 2 eggs and beet with veggies that I posted on day 2.

Lunch was the same as day 2

Dinner was the same as day two.

God, I'm boring as shit.

The good news is, I'm all out of curry chicken, so I'll have to cook something new and exciting for the rest of the week.

After dinner and work I went back to the gym for a HIIT running session, where again I ran over 4 miles. For the past three months I have battled the WORST SHINSPLINTS EVERRRRRR. I was sure that this hard of running would have me waking up unable to walk, aching, and miserable.

Nope. Totally fine. I can run again.

I've noticed that I get tired earlier the past couple of days. I usually stay up until 11, but have found myself ready to sleep around 10, still waking at 6 or 6:30, fully charged.

How's everyone else feeling? Hopefully my day four doesn't suck as much as day 3. I hate having nothing to write about.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Whole 30 Day 2

I feel that this disclaimer should have been made before. I am not new to Paleo. I have lived this lifestyle for around three years, and have been 100% for two of those years. Lately, I've been giving in to sweets, bread, and twice I have eaten rice. This may be normal and dandy for a lot of people, but not me. I don't react well to gluten, I am lactose intolerant, and my body on carbs is NOT attractive. I decided to do the Whole 30 again because it gets me back to my roots, feeling my best, and motivates me to stay the course.

That being said:

I didn't sleep well last night. Not because I was hungry, but I know I set myself up for failure. I try to be in bed, lights out, no phone Pinteresting by 11pm, but I am a HUGE San Antonio Spurs fan, and the game didn't start until 9:30 last night. It's not like I'm going to turn off the game during the second round of the playoffs, so bedtime could wait.

12 am came and went. By 1 am I was in bed asleep.

Then that damned internal alarm clock. 6am. Gym time.

I don't believe in doing morning workouts fasted, because it's ridiculous, and I lift heavy things. A girl needs some food.

Displaying photo 2.JPG

Breakfast this morning was 2 eggs, cage/soy/grain free from my local farmer's market, a few slices of beets (beets do wonders for blood flow, for all you lifters out there), some onion, and 1/4 avocado. Digested for around 45 minutes, then did a long, painful leg and shoulder workout.

I'm not sure if it was the workout or because it's day 2 of a Whole 30, but I was tired around 10:30. Like, I want to go to bed tired. Then I remembered I didn't sleep well and will have to gauge how I'm feeling tomorrow. Needless to say, I was pumped for lunch. I'm trying my damndest to allow for one snack a day, which is usually around 2 or 3, so I have increased the size of my lunch.

                                              Displaying photo 3.JPG

This plate of delicious contains 6 oz chicken breast, 1/4 avocado, yellow bell peppers, and red kale, all cooked in 1/2 TBSP of grass fed tallow. I love tallow, rendered this s--- myself. If you talk to your local farmers, I can guarantee they save their beef fat and would love to sell you it for dirt cheap.

I didn't take a picture of my snack at 2:30, but it was a cashew cookie Lara Bar and 2 TBSP of coconut butter. I count calories due to my lifting and fitness goals, and didn't bother to check the calories of the LaraBar. 230. Won't be having one of those again. Thank God it wasn't even that great. Coconut butter is always good. I'll be sticking to that on a spoon, or with 1/2 a banana.

Throughout the day I've been sipping on water, water...and....water. Sometimes I get fancy and drink Pelligrino because I love bubbles.

Dinner time was at 7 today. I'm eating dinner later to stay away from snacking at night. I'm a genius, I know. 

Last night I started making slow cooker curry chicken, and waited all day today to eat it. In the picture, it looks like garbage, but in my mouth it tastes fabulous. I think I'll use full fat coconut milk next time, because the curry tastes like watery disappointment. I'm pretty good with spices, so it still tastes fantastic. If you don't believe me, come over and try some.

                                             Displaying photo 1.JPG

It's 9:20 pm and I'm ready for bed. I worked 11-8:30 today and while I don't have a stressful job, I am ready to get a great night's sleep and kill it in the gym tomorrow.

Also, I'm a nerd and still frequent public libraries. I got four books (including the Wheat Belly cookbook!) that demand my attention. 

Monday, May 12, 2014

Motivation, and Useful Websites

This is the only post of this nature that I will post, but I figure since it's day 1, I'm going to go all in from the get-go. I'm not new to paleo. In fact, this is my third year running. However, I've done so much screwing up lately, starting fresh is the only way to go.

For those of you that want to get your asses in gear (like me!), I've supplied some websites and other things that get (and keep) me going. Hope you find these useful!!
Juli Bauer writes this blog. She is hilarious, and has such good recipes

NOBODY cares about your excuses. NOBODY pities you for procrastinating. NOBODY is going to cuddle you because you are lazy. It's YOUR ass. YOU move it.
George Bryant is the mastermind behind this website. Along with a bacon infatuation, he and Juli are coming out with their first book. Play around, find some inspiration

Monday Motivation: Take Your Pick | Runner's World
This site has some easy to make meals, and includes ideas for family/children

“Be strong. Take courage. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you.”Deuteronomy 31:6
This is a no brainer. You should probably have read this already.
                                           Motivation to stay healthy takes discipline and self control. For 2013, I really desire to maintain the self control it takes to refrain from sources of food intake that is bad for my body, mind and soul!  #GoUnDiet2013
Just what it sounds like. Paleo porn. Eye candy for the foodie

It's you all along - Monday is a Good Day for Motivations (10 Photos)

Awesome recipes. There is an easy way to choose the cuisine, meal, ingredients, and restrictions. So helpful.

Me gusta ser un lĂ­der (Perfil Personal)
I know of many more, and I'm sure with a quick Google search, you can find your own favorites.
Now, go rule the world!!

Whole 30 Day 1

Happy first day of the Whole 30! After this weekend, it couldn't be a better time to start. I tried last week, and failed. I'm done fooling around, done with the justifications, and ready to take on the next 30 days. For those of you that are joining me, welcome. Let's get shit done!!!

I woke up around 6:45. I hadn't slept well because of an outrageous train of storms that came through Iowa, but five hours will have to do.

For breakfast, I had the remains of my Applegate Organics roasted turkey breast, which was two slices, along with a half tablespoon of coconut oil. Still feeling the caloric hangover of Saturday and Sunday, it was a small breakfast.

I drove back to Omaha, which was a two and a half hour drive, and did not snack. I had a bottle of sparkling water, and that's it.

When I got back, I went to Natural Grocers to get my goods for the week. I picked up

Chicken breasts and drumsticks
Coconut Milk (in the can!)
Canned tuna
Bell Peppers
Coconut flakes
Hot Sauce
Jar of coconut butter
I live alone, and this rang up to about $50. All organic, free range, and delicious. Totally doable, even though I make next to pennies at my job.

Eating lunch at work is easy for me because I work in a home environment with a kitchen and all of the essentials.

For today's lunch, I made "sushi", which I call anything I put into a Nori sheet. (I use Sea Snax brand)

On these seaweed sheets I have tuna, 1/4 avocado, slices of bell pepper, roma tomato. I put a few sprinkles of Frank's Red Hot (original, not wing sauce!) on top for some added flavor. Delicious. If you have never tried seaweed, I highly suggest you do.

Soon I will be cooking my chicken breasts so that they don't go bad over the week, and when meals come I will add the chicken to vegetables or whatever else I decide to make. I found a recipe on the Whole 30 webpage for slow-cooker chicken curry, which I will be making tonight.

My chicken breasts are baked, and I put a spaghetti squash in the oven as well. It's 2 pm and I ate lunch at 11. Just had a snack of an organic gala apple and a serving of MaraNatha coconut butter.

Gym time was awesome. I started a new circuit program, and did HIIT running for over four miles. This is a huge deal because I've had shin splints for three months, and haven't been able to run. I felt so great. Now I'm a bit sore, but the best kind of sore.

Dinner time!! Decided to make cilantro line chicken with a side of broccoli topped with clarified butter. Simple and delicious.

Stay strong and confident everyone. You've got this.

Monday, May 5, 2014

The Whole 30: Why/ How/ Now!

This is my way of holding myself accountable. According to Google, this blog (and it's various posts that I make public), has around 500 followers that see what I write. I could care less about the number, or if anyone reads this garbage. After all, I'm hardly interested in my life, I don't expect that of anyone else. However, since the beginning of the year, I have made it my goal to reach 128 lbs, at 12% body fat. This goal is not unattainable. In fact, I have been teetering for two months. Two months is far too long to struggle with the remaining 2-6 lbs. I've had my slip-ups, my "cheats", my justifications, and my pity parties. Enough is enough. I'm doing it for real. Starting now.

This weekend, my brother got married to an amazing woman. I couldn't be happier for the both of them, and although I've been in and out of marriage already, I hope nothing but the best for them, because when love is real, it's real. That being said....

I enjoyed myself at the wedding. I say that, and I mean it. I loved having my hair and makeup done, my photos taken, and the food...God I loved the food. A little too much....

After enjoying two mimosas while having my hair done, I also had a breakfast consisting of plantain chips, almond butter, chicken, and Lord knows what else. I decided not to track my food for the day, because 10,000 calories would have sent me into automatic shock. Perhaps I should have, then I wouldn't be having this problem.

Upon arriving to the country club where the photos were taken, I was greeted with turkey sandwiches, a fruit platter, cookies, and candies. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have everything minus the candy. I didn't eat the bread for the sandwich, but I didn't need all of that meat either. I wasn't hungry, I was eating mindlessly, a huge flaw that I've dealt with for years.

Alcohol is not something that is a part of my daily, weekly, or even monthly habits. However, I convinced myself that today was special, so I had drinks while getting ready. A rum and diet coke, (I never drink soda), and then a Sex on the Beach. Finally it was time for the actual wedding, so I took a break from stuffing my face.

At the reception, the first hour consisted of happy hour, where the wedding party enjoyed free drinks and food in a separate room. I had around four slices of pizza, six bacon wrapped pieces of chicken, and a few handfuls of trail mix. Also on the order were two Kahlua and coffees and two Cosmopolitans. This was the meal before the meal.

After my brother and sister-in-law were announced, we sat down for the dinner. Before dinner, I was greeted with a basket of awesome looking bread. I indulged. Twice. Ate my entire filet mingnon, salad, and stole a chicken finger. One more Cosmo.

One more Cosmo.

Slice of cake.

Slice of cake.

Another Cosmo.

At this point, I was drunk, full, and sleepy. Naturally, after I left the wedding, I decided to eat an entire gluten free pizza.

My cheat day easily rivals that of the Rock.

Sunday, I continued the awful trend. I'll spare the details, but I will say it involved more bread, more cake, and bacon salad dressing

Not surprisingly, upon weighing myself this morning, the scale had moved...ten fucking pounds. I'm used to four or five...but TEN?!?

I lost my shit. I know much of it is water weight, but there was some serious calorie intake involved, and I know a few of those pounds are here to stay.

The only answer for me, as someone who has struggled with eating disorders for much of her life, is to not allow myself those "cheats". Some people are able to have one treat and then go about their days. In my case, I turn into a wild animal, devouring whatever I may come across. When I do this, I don't feel well, I retain water, and my feelings of self-worth diminish to none. While this is unhealthy, when I eat Paleo, and am strict with it, I feel amazing, and I know that's what I need to do.

Today, I am renewing my vow to Paleo.

I vow to eat real, nourishing food.
I vow to not let temptation get the best of me.
I vow to be mindful and honest with what I'm eating and how it makes me feel.
I vow to reach my weight/body fat goal

I love myself too much to harm my body any further. I purchased a body detoxification kit (plant based and natural) to kick start my journey. If I want to act like someone who is still on the SAD diet, I will start over like I've never done this before.

My willpower is strong, and I know I can do this. To my readers, I will be posting daily of what I've eaten, what my workouts were like, and how I'm feeling. If you are currently toying with the idea of joining the Paleo lifestyle, please, come with me. I'll help hold you accountable, and you can help me.

People are strongest with a support system. To everyone that's seen me through my struggles and triumphs, I sincerely thank you for the support, and hope I make it through this journey in one piece.