Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Why SWYPO is stupid.

Today is day three.I'm not surprised that I don't have any symptoms of withdrawal. I eat paleo anyway. Started of with a 6 am breakfast of chicken breast, sweet potato, and two egg yolks. Yes, just the yolks. Breakfast yesterday was two egg whites, and I hate playing favorites. I fear no fat.

I went to the gym around 7 and did an awesome arm/calves/abs session. The end of the workout called for 30 minutes of steady state cardio. I did it, but I hate cardio. I'd rather die. I don't understand how people can go to a gym and pedal on that little elliptical thing forever. Shit's boring.

Lunch was (surprise!) more chicken, with some cut up beets, broccoli, carrots, cauliflower, and spinach. I do what I want. Also had a LaCroix and a Gingerade Kombucha. Nom.


The topic of the day: SWYPO. For you who may not know, this stands for: Sex with your pants on. We all love sex, I mean, come on. Remember when you were 15 though, and weren't ready, so you did the awkward dry hump thing? That's SWYPO. Sure, it feels okay, but it's just not quite as good. That's how certain paleo things are.

Buns, cookies, wraps, things that are kiiiiinda like SAD foods, but they are made paleo. Yeah, not on the Whole 30. The brain does weird things, and it will continue to associate a bun as a bun. An objective of the Whole 30 is to make one not crave those things.

After all this time of being paleo, I can honestly say I don't remember what a bun tastes like. I think in the past three years I may have had one slice of bread that wasn't gluten free or paleo. I don't crave these foods, and I have no interest in having them in my mouth. This is why I consider nothing SWYPO. Having a paleo bun is not going to make me run to the grocery store, grab a loaf of white bread and hide in the corner with it. It just won't happen. I think that SWYPO is a "to each their own" kind of deal. If it's a trigger for you, you'll know. Don't do it.

Yesterday was my first day off of work in over two weeks. I took the liberty of spoiling myself stupid. Still woke up at 6 and went to the gym, but then I enjoyed not showering for a while and sitting on my ass. I then went to the zoo all day and looked at animals, because on the inside I'm six years old and furry shit is cool. I also got to pet a stingray, which was also cool. There was a monkey giving another one a blowjob. I didn't know monkeys did that, and it will be forever burned into my brain. I also don't know why I shared that.

After the zoo, I scheduled myself a massage. It was back day yesterday, and it's been a good....24 years since my last awesome massage. I hopped up on that table and let her work her magic. Oh man. I may be a lesbian.

It was then dinner time when I finally returned home, and I made a double turkey burger with a beet bun. Somewhere in there, I started online shopping, signing up for an Amazon credit card, and buying shit. Awesome shit. Like this.

The spiralizer de-jour. I can't wait to make everything noodles with it. I broke my stupid cheap one in three days, so this was a need, not a want. (I have to tell myself this)

I also purchased a grain free pancake mix, because in the past two weeks I've tried to make pancakes at least four times, and they all tasted of shit.


I got the bag on the left (duh). Here's where the SWYPO thing comes into play. I don't ever put syrup on my pancakes, I don't like it. Sometimes, I just want the consistency of a pancake. Something squishy, but not squishy. If I have these in the morning, I'm not about to go out and get a muffin donut poptart sandwich. So yes, I will make these and eat the shit out of them the second they get to my door, because I can.

What are YOUR SWYPO rules?

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