I know you loved the alliteration I used for the title of this post. I love the English language, and alliteration is right up there with metaphor for my favorite language tool. Anyway.
I think, as a Paleo person, we've all encountered someone who fits this description. I know it fits me. For the longest time, I'll go as far to say years, I've been all or nothing. No exceptions. It is what it is, black and white, no gray, no "once in a blue moon" occasion. You're either Paleo or you're not. That's it.
How incredibly unhealthy and saddening this mindset.
As I stated in yesterday's post, this lifestyle doesn't exist to make one miserable. In fact, it's to do the opposite. To find strength and love in real foods, which leads to good health and an overall happier life. What happens when it goes too far? When paleo/fitness/health becomes not something you do, but rather, who you are? It wrecks you. Every benefit received from changing your life becomes a stressor, something to dread, something you grow to hate.
Sometimes, you need to step back.
I decided after yesterday's post that I won't be tracking my macros anymore. You know who cares how many carbs/fats/proteins I eat a day? No one. Not even me. I eat food that enables my body to function, and enough of it that I'm not hungry. There's no need to meticulously plan for hours what I'm going to consume the next day, down to the last gram of fat. That's not living.
Oh, you had a piece of pizza? A brownie? Some pasta? Awesome. I bet it tasted great! You feel guilty for it? I know if I ate any of that, I would.
How incredibly unhealthy and saddening.
Eating should never make you feel guilty. Humans have one thing in common above all else. We are humans. As humans, we have wants, desires, and things that flat out make us happy. Why should a label (paleo) mean that we have to hold ourselves to such high standards, that we succumb to making pizza out of cauliflower, or brownies out of zucchini?
Eat the goddam brownie.
While I'm on this Whole 30, I will remain within the boundaries of the Whole 30. Like I said, once I've got my mind back, I'll be able to tackle more. When this Whole 30 is over, however, for the first time since being paleo, I am exercising my right to be human. The 80/20 rule basically says 100% paleo, 80% of the time, which equates to 5-6 paleo meals to 1 non-paleo. This doesn't mean I'm going to go eat all the sandwiches and pasta that I want, but it means that if I'm out with friends, or it's a special occasion, I'm not taking Tupperware with chicken and broccoli along. I won't look back on my life in 30 years and remember the awesome time I had at ______________ eating my chicken and broccoli. Life is for living, and not as a machine.
I fully promote the paleo lifestyle. It ensures that one receives proper nutrition to fuel their lives. I also want to promote happiness, because there isn't enough of that in the world. Do what makes you happy, and do it for you.
I have craved perfection since I can remember. Always striving to be stronger/leaner/prettier/thinner/tanner...whatever. Somewhere along the lines, I let it consume me. The desire to be perfect has led me to depression, anxiety, and a lack of love and respect for myself. I am on the quest to find myself again, to accept the person that I have grown to be.
At the end of the day, I am human. I am not perfect. And that's okay.